Gorgeous!

Ok so as a girl I am very hard on myself when it comes to my looks. Growing up I have never really felt gorgeous. Even now it's sometimes hard to believe, even though I am content with who I am. I guess it's just my personality; I love it when boys tell me that I look pretty; I love it even more when I get asked out by a really hot guy. I feel gorgeous when I get asked out by any guy.

Don't get me wrong I am content with who I am and I don't care what people think about me. But I do care what I think about myself. So that is why I like to have people tell me that I am pretty, beautiful or gorgeous. I like it when I get approval from other people it makes me feel good about myself. I mean who doesn't?

Though beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it's only skin deep. Really what matters to me most in a guy is personality. I want someone that I can talk to and has a lot of the same interests as I do. But we don't have to have everything in common, but just enough that I can have someone to talk to, and will tell me things. I love being the center of attention. I like to look pretty too; I like it when I look in the mirror and think to myself, that I am beautiful.

Whenever I try to say that my younger sister is more gorgeous than I am my mom gets a little angry at me. I mean I am not going to jump off a bridge just because I think my younger sister is more gorgeous than me. I just think that she is really pretty and she is in better shape than me. I know that I shouldn't think that I am not as pretty, as my younger sister, but I do.

I have known that I just need to be true to myself and to Heavenly Father and that's all that matters; and I don't need to worry about what other people think of me. I have been able to carry that since I was 24. I know who I am and I know what I want in life. But sometimes it's just nice to hear compliments.

Christ's Love!

So when I finished the Book of Mormon last time in my scripture reading I decided that I would read the New Testament. I must say that I have really been loving it. I have found a better understanding of the Savior's love for everyone. I have really enjoyed reading the 4 gospels again.

I absolutely love the parable of the Pharisee and the Publican in St Luke chapter 18 verse 9. "And he spake this parable unto certain which trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others: Two men went up to the temple to pray; the one Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican. I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess. And the publican standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes to heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner. I tell you, this man went down justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shalt be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted."

That parable reminds me of the Rameumptom story in the Book of Mormon. It was a ah ha moment after I read the parable in the New Testament, cause it's just another testimony to me that the Book of Mormon is true.

A girl in my stake gave a talk about how many miles are we away from Christ and told the story about the women that had the issue of blood. She just had to touch his hem and she was cured. Then she told the story of the man that walked five miles or so to see Jesus; so that Jesus would go and heal his son. It made me think how many miles are we willing to go to see Christ and how far away are we really away from Christ are we right behind him like the woman with an issue of blood or are we farther than that? And how many miles are we willing to go to be near him again if we have walked away from him?

Another part in the New Testament that I love, is when Christ says a scripture over and over again that has been on my mind a lot and it made me see how much Christ loves everyone. It's near the end of St John in chapter 13 just after Christ has washed the feet of the Twelve it's verse 16. "Verily, verily I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him."

Love!

So when I said that I ask too much of Heavenly Father, I mean that I feel like I always pray for what I want instead of praying for what I need. Or I feel that I pray selfish sometimes. I like talking to Heavenly Father and I like to tell him what is going in my life. I mean don't get me wrong I try to remember to pray. I hate it when I forget, and I do tell Heavenly Father what I am thankful for. I try to do my best every day.

I am so thankful for all that I have and for my friends and family. I love nothing more than spending time with everyone that I love. Life would be nothing without them.

I have a final tomorrow, it's my only final. I hope it goes well. I am so excited for school to be over with this semester. I have been getting a little sick of school. I am not going to school over the summer. I want and need a break. I want to see if I can get a internship or maybe some volunteer work. I finally decided what I want to do with my life and I want to get into med school. It's the main thing that really interests me in school. I do still dream and want nothing more than to be a wife and mother. I want to be married in the temple.

I need to get my self a gym pass I hope this Saturday I will have time to get one. I really need to start going to the gym again. I do have plans on Saturday but not until the evening. I do need to go to the temple this week. I hope I make it.

Life!

Wow it's been a while since I last posted. I wanted school to be some what over with. I just have my final to take and then I will be done with school this semester. I have been putting money into my saving for school in the fall. I finally decided what I want to do with my life I want to get into medical school. It will be a lot of school but I might as well do something that I want and love.

Sometimes I feel I ask to much of Heavenly Father. I love being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ. Lately I have been reading the New Testament in the book of St John I love that Christ says that he did not come into to the world to judge but he came to save. General Conference was so good I loved a lot of the talks. I have been going to the temple I haven't gone in a while I need to get back into going weekly.

Well my brother got fired from his job almost a year ago and he still doesn't have a new one. All he does is sit at my parents house and play video games and watch movies or TV. Or he goes over to a friends house. Maybe he looks for a job, I have no idea though if he does or not. I think if he was actively looking he would find one at like Wendy's or something like that. Well I hope he gets one soon!

I want to go hiking a lot this summer. I would love to go up to Bear Lake and lay out on the beach at least maybe 3 times this summer. I can't wait for the summer and I hope it gets warm soon.