Sunny Days!!

Ok so Tuesday after work I went to sing karaoke, with two of my friends from the ward! It was fun I don't think I did very good but oh well it was fun! But my friend Liz has an amazing voice and Brian has a good voice as well. It would be cool to have them sing in sacrament meeting. Then I put in Cool Runnings but I fell asleep like 20 min into the movie! So I slept in which was nice but I think I over slept a bit too much, so I woke up and got ready for work and then came home got something to eat then got on facebook! Then today I slept in but not as long as I did yesterday got up showered and now I am on facebook again! Then I went to run a few errands I needed condtioner and cereal and my mom wanted me to get her some sandals. Then I made food for me to eat so that I wouldn't faint at work!

Went to work it wasn't bad. Then I came home got changed for the gym, I got in a 30 min work out which is good. Then I got home and I was hoping that I had lost at least another pound; but sadly I haven't lost anything for a while, but at least I am not gaining any weight! So that makes me happy!

Another thing that makes me happy is now the drama in my life seems to be winding down I hope! The rain seems to have stopped and the sun is back out I want it to last for a good long time now. Also another thing is it seems as if time is slowing down a bit for me right now. Which I don't mind especially since things are finally getting good again.....and hopefully it will get even better! I am so greatful for my Heavenly Father and all that he does and gives me. Life for me is calm and content now. I just hope that no one that I know gets swine flu including myself, I hope that they can get this virus under control so that no one else will have to die. But outside today it was so nice and warm, too bad I had to work; I so would have loved to do something outside like go to a park or the zoo with some friends. But alas I need money. I wish I could invent a money tree and grow it in my back yard that would be so awesome if that could come true! But since that is not going to ever happen I must work. So I must live my life as best as I can!

Sunlight!!

Friday I woke up got ready for work and then went to work, I wanted to go to the to the gym after work. But I was so tired after work that I decided that it was best I didn't go. So I will just have to go next Thursday and Friday, now it will be easier since school is out for the semester! Then Saturday I cleaned some of my house; and then got ready to go to the ward activity since I promised Cambree I would go. So I worked some things out with my friend and I know that things are not going to be the same. I must confess I am good with things not being the same as they once were, I guess it's the only way that I can move on with my life. The ward activity was pretty fun we were going to go bowling, but then we couldn't so we went back to the institute and played catch phrase and had snacks and nachos. Then we went to a friends house and watched Transformers!

Then when I got home I find out that one of my best friend's father pasted away Saturday morning, so my thoughts and prayers are with my friend and her family; my heart goes out to her! So Sunday was pretty good I really enjoyed Meg's lesson in Relief Society, Sunday School I couldn't focus all that well. Sacrament meeting was better I could at least focus on the talks. The mingle was pretty fun I got to talk to some people that I haven't seen in a while. Then Monday I got ready for work. I went to work and then I went bowling with some friends in my ward my first score was 124 so I have a new high score to beat, then my second score was 111! So I broke a hundred twice!!

So all in all, I think things are finally looking up! Also I called one of my best friends on Sunday and she hasn't called me back yet; I hope that at least by this weekend I will get a call or a text from her. Well since the sun is back out in my life, I hope it will stay out for a good long time!

Still Standing!!

I had no idea that my life was going to get so out of control at the end of this month. I must confess that I am still hurting a little, though I am done being hurt, it needs to go away. But I guess I have to go through this; so that I can know that no matter what happens I will still be standing in the end! And I am still standing.........hope, I guess is still pushing me to move, to still go on. I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father even though it may seem like one of the doors in my life is shut, two more have opened wider. I hope with time, that the one that seems shut, will open again. Even though I know that things will probably never be the same as they once were, but maybe someday, somehow the change will be for the better. All that I can do now is still pray for this friend, and hope that things will work out for the best! All this time I have been wondering why I haven't cried, but I finally figured out why, and it's because it is not my fault. I really needed to cry though, it would have helped the pain leave or at least it would have been less. I am willing to accept the fact that things between this friend and I will never be the same. But I do hope that my friend will learn and grow from this experience. Going through this trail has changed me even a bit more.

So since I had such a crazy week I didn't take my final on Tuesday like I wanted, since I didn't study at all last week like I was going to, since I was in a state of complete shock. I stayed up really late last night and studied and then woke up really early this morning to take my final and I am really tired! This whole thing has really warped me! Good thing school is over with for this semester and I can sleep in tomorrow! I just hope I can make it through work! I am not going to the gym tonight either because I know I am just way too tired. So hopefully all the hurt and pain that I am feeling will pass sooner that I expect it will. I will for sure go to the gym after work on Friday and that should make me happier!

So I will say this last thing, I care about everyone around me, I don't like it when people are mad at me. Because in High School I know I hurt a few people, so when I got out of High School and matured a bit, I decided that I wasn't going to let every little thing get to me, and so I changed and I have been pretty much the same ever since. Of course about a month ago I became content with who I am and I know that just being me is enough. I am still standing and so I say again bring it on!!

Ward Stuff!!

Sunday I got up I still felt sick to my stomach and so I didn't eat anything before I went to church. Got to church a little late but not too late! My good friend Rachel taught in Relief Society it was really good, she shared a personal experience that made me stop and think, and I love it when people say things that make stop and think! Then in Sunday school I find out something that I was afraid that would happen, I wasn't really surprised at all. Of course for the rest of church I couldn't focus, cause I was so worried for my friend. But things are better now and even though I am still hurt the pain is going away I hope! Then after church we had the mingle and it was good I didn't want to eat anything but I had fun talking to everyone that was there! Then I went to guess who's coming to dinner at Erica's and Cambree's house it was fun. Jake Jensen got us laughing pretty good, I had a good time!

Then Monday I woke up got ready for the day I had the night off so I went to Stake FHE and I had fun; one of the guys in the ward brought his roomate, and he was really good looking and so nice and funny! I wish I wouldn't get so nervous when I am around boys that I like, because for some reason my mind always goes blank and then I don't talk, and I feel so stupid. So I hope I get to see him again. Then I went bowling with friends in my ward I got like a 72 and then I got 115!!!!! Yay! I beat my previous high score! I was so stoked!! Then I went home got something to eat studied a bit for my final and then went to sleep!

Wow what a week!!

Thursday I hear that a friend of mine is mad at me for something that is not my fault, and this friend told me twice that it wasn't my fault. So I admit I was really mad, I had so much adrenaline pumping through me, that if I hadn't got enough sleep the night before, so that I could go to the gym after work, I probably would have went over to my friends place and either yelled at or hit this friend. But since I wanted to go to the gym, I went, because I knew that my anger would leave me and it did! But I was still really hurt, I never thought that a friend could or would ever make me hurt so much! Thursday I also went to school and institute which was good I was really late for school though. Then off to work I went.

Friday I woke up at 10:30am and couldn't go back to sleep, so I got up and ate food and then went to work and then the gym! Today I got up at 10:30am again because I couldn't sleep any longer; because I was still really hurt. Then I got ready for work then came home from work for a bit, cleaned the living room then went to a local rock band concert that a friend invited me to; and it was a lot of fun and good music. Then I went out with my friend Rachel to get something to eat, because I really hadn't had anything to eat all day, and that was a lot of fun. We went to yummy Cafe Rio!!!!!!!!! And for some reason I am no longer hurt, well at least not all the time any more. So yay the pain is finally going away, I am healing yes! I was hoping the pain would go away sooner than I expected!

Also since I have been good and I went to the gym twice this week I have lost another 2lbs!! Making a total of 19lbs that I have lost!!!!!!!!!!

So I am really happy that the pain has passed sooner than I thought it would. I wish there was still something I could do to make this friend realize that they can't do this sort of thing to a friend; and then when they decide to apologize expect everything to be the same! I am sorry it doesn't work that way! I am ready and willing to forgive this friend; but this friend of mine needs to be ready and willing to accept the consequences of their actions!

Searching for a Miracle!!

I am not afraid to be my self and now I let other people see the real me. I really like that I am content with who I am; it has taken me 12 years to realize that just being me is enough.

Lately I have been searching for a miracle and I hope it comes soon or before it is too late! I am still really afraid for one of my friends. I want things to be good again for this friend I want this friend to be happy and loving life. I need these things fixed, because it can't keep on happening over and over again it has gone on long enough. I have been giving this friend of mine advice and help when they needed it. But for some reason it hasn't jogged their head. So I keep on hoping and praying that some how, some way it will get in my friends head; and this friend will learn from this experience. And that my friend will realize that we need trials in order to survive in this life, and I hope that my friend will be able to overcome this trial. Sometimes the Lord has to bring us low before he can lift us higher; and the Lord is not just building the church he is also building us.

"Life it's ever so strange it's so full of change you think that you've worked it out than bang, right out the blue something happens to you, to throw you off course and then you break down. Truth we don't want hear it's too much to take, don't like to feel out of control so we make our plans ten times a day, and when they don't go our way we, break down, ya we break down, don't you break down listen to me, slowly, oh so very slowly except that there's no getting off, so live it, just got to go with it, cause this ride's never gonna stop, break down, don't you break down, no need to break down, no need at all, because it's just a ride it's just a ride no need to run no need to hide, it will take you all around, sometimes your up sometimes your down, it's just a ride, it's just a ride, don't be scared now dry your eyes, it might feel so real inside, but don't forget it's just a ride." This song is sung by Jem and it's called "Just a Ride" if anyone was wondering.

So on a to a positive note I had Monday off from work which was nice I went to my wards FHE and had a blast. We had a talent show and it was really good, one of my friends got up and sang and she rocked the house she was very good. Then I went bowling with some friends in the ward my first score was 82 and then I got a 65 and that is because I haven't bowled for two weeks. So oh well better luck next time!

Loving Life!!

Saturday was a good day I got to sleep in; and then I woke up and cleaned part of the house up and then I was going to do some laundry, but everyone else in my house was doing laundry so I got ready for the day. I went out to eat with two of my good friends Marie and Camille at the Olive Garden which was so good. Then I went to Barnes and Noble with just Camille since Marie had to finish some things up before Sunday. So Camille and I went to Barnes and Noble and had fun, I wanted to get the book Truman and Camille said to me no I won't let you; and then I said you won't let me why what will you do tackle me to the ground in Barnes and Noble; and then she said yes and then will I put you in my trunk and take you far away and every once in while I will ask if you are dead yet; and then I said could you just imagine that......tackling me to the floor in Barnes and Noble! Then she said ok I guess I will let you get the book! Hahahaha Ahhhhhhh good times, good times!! I love my friend Camille and the sense of humor that we share!! So then I got home and my mom wanted me to run to the store and get some rolls and a pan to cook them in, and I also got me some salad yum! Then I got home did some laundry and then finally went to sleep.

Today I got up late and went to church Sunday School was really good we talked about the importance of unifying the church and I got a lot out of that lesson cause we should be going to church to help and lift others and I find that when I am helping other people with things or serving them then I am spending less time thinking about me and how bad my life is and I get such a good high when I am focusing on other people instead of me and life seems to feel right and I am content. Sacrament meeting was really good too! A girl in my ward that talked also sang "I Know that My Redemer Lives" and that was so uplifting to hear that song on Easter Sunday. I went to the mngle and it was fun we had an Easter egg hunt and then ate cup cakes. Then went home for family Easter dinner over at my aunts house and it was so much fun. My older sister and her husband came and my little sister and her husband came and then my older cousin and his wife came, so we had the entire family there at my aunts house for dinner then we had Family Home Evening and then we played apples to apples bible edition and we all got laughing so hard it was a lot of fun and we also had ice cream cakes that my sister made. So Easter Sunday it was a happy day!!

Now I have lost another 5lbs and so that makes a total of 17lbs that I have lost!!!! Yay!!!!!! I am so stoked!!!!!!!!!!!! My goal is to be able to fit into all of my prom dresses that I have, and to be able to fit into my senior year spirit week shirt and look good in it!

Well there is one thing that is bothering me I wish I still had grandparents I miss them and I think about them every day. Now that I am older and I have a job I wish I could take them out to dinner, that was one thing that I was looking forward to when I got older! I wish I could just pick up my phone and call them and tell them that I love them and that I miss them, or just to be able to go over to their house and visit with them would be wonderful! But I know I am so blessed even though my grandparents are gone I have my family that loves and supports me and friends that love and support me and I am content with who I am, I have a Heavenly Father that loves me and listens to me and my Savior who died for me to take away my sins is so that I can live with God the Father and Jesus Christ if I remain worthy of those blessings.

Life & 50 word mini-saga!

Well Thursday I went to school and I wasn't as late as I usually am. So school was good on Thursday then I went to my institute class. Institute is always good, we talked about the signs that would come before the second coming. My institute teacher said something that made me think he said that even though we don't know the exact day that the Savior will come we won't be surprised when he does come; if we watch for the signs and obey the Prophet we won't be caught off guard! I love it when people say things that make me stop and think. So then I went home and made me something to eat cause I was starving and then I watched Lost, got on facebook for a bit; then went off to work.

Today I woke up and got ready because I had a nail appointment at 1pm I needed a new full nail set so I knew it was going to take a long time. I got home at like 3:40pm. Then I got a text from a friend asking me if I wanted to come over to Temple Square before I had work since it was such a nice day. But since I needed to eat something, I wouldn't have made it down there in time. I would have loved to go down there since for once it was such a beautiful day!! But alas I didn't have the time. Then I went to work it wasn't too bad, but I was so happy when it was over! The only thing that I am really mad a myself for is I didn't got to the gym on Thursday and tonight so shame on me. But I had stayed up to late on Wednesday and then I couldn't shut my mind off so I couldn't sleep. Thursday night I got enough sleep but work kind of warped me so I went home instead and I was a bit hungry, so I will have to go next week.

So Saturday I don't have much to do, I need to clean the house, and do some laundry; and then I have plans to go out with a friend to the Olive Garden; so it will be good, it will be nice to catch up with her since I haven't seen her in about a month. I do get to sleep in tomorrow, which is nice since I love sleep!

So here is another 50 word mini-saga!

"You are starting to realize how absolutely amazing you are, and how you have nothing to worry about. Everyone likes you and gets along with you so well!! I'm glad that you are able to carry that now." She said to me. My jaw drops, WOW I have an amazing friend.

So there is my second one. I know I have put this on an earlier post.....but this statement about me, really humbled me so I am really happy to have this good friend in my life.

50 word "mini-saga" for Katie!

Ok Katie this is for you, this is the first one that I have made so here it is............

"What's wrong?" I said with concern. "Nothing that you or anyone else can help me with, it's something that I have to work out on my own." He said to me.
I sigh and touch his arm with concern and frustration, and wonder will he ever tare down this wall?

So there you go, and just to let y'all know that was a real conversation that I had. I will post more of the 50 word mini-sagas when I can have long time to think again!

Bring It On!

So I did go to my class like the good girl that I am and it wasn't so bad as I thought it would be. I then went to my institute class and we talked about General Conference. It was really uplifting to here what other people in my class thought of General Conference; since it was so uplifting for me. I then stopped by the nail salon to get the gel fixed on my thumb nail since it was coming off, and I went to the Distribution Center to get April Ensigns and the manual for Relief Society; since I left my other one in my sunday school class and I didn't go back to get it, so who knows if it's still at church. So I just bought me a new one!

I finally got home and I was so hungry that I made me something to eat. I had dinner with my parents for once since I had the night off Tuesday, which was nice. It was good to have a evening to do what I wanted. So I went up to the U of U institute to surprise a good friend of mine that I hadn't seen in about a month. But then I ran into a good friend from high school and we got talking about a whole bunch of things, and it was good to catch up, and I ended up sitting next to her in the institute class and I did see my other friend for like a few seconds; and I was hoping to catch her after the class to see if she wanted to get something to eat. But she called me and said that she had to leave since she was falling asleep, and wanted to get home before she fell asleep at the wheel. But then a few of the boys in my ward showed up cause they had a church ball game, and so I stayed and watched them play. I haven't watched a basketball game in while, so it was a lot of fun watching the boys play.

Ok so I am still not over this boy that I like. So I am thinking that even though it is stressing, freaking, and weirding me out a little I know that this is just one of my trails or tests that I have to go through; and so I say bring it on, let the rain come down and the waves crash on top of me; cause I know that I will come out on top standing tall and firm not matter what life throws at me; I am ready for it because I know who I am, I know what I want, I know what I stand for, I am stronger than I seem! But don't get me wrong I know I am nothing without my Heavenly Father he blesses my life so much, that even though sometimes I don't realize it, my cup is always full. I know that the Savior gave his life for us that so that we would be able to return and live with Christ and God the Father. I love Sunday's even though they are the craziest days. I love being able to attend all 3 meetings and then going home and being able to see all of my family, and I am so thankful for all the friends that I have in my life.

Running Through My Head!

I slept in on Monday which was so nice; then I went to work then again I went to the bowling alley and watched while some of my friends bowled; only 5 of us went to Dee's and so it was a good night over all. Today I have school and I really don't want to go my laziness is kicking in again about school anyway; I would just like to sleep in and just go to my institute class at noon, but I probably won't I will be a good girl and wake up and go to school like I always do. I do need to start waking up earlier so that I can be on time for school and so that I can at least have my hair done before I walk out the door. Also I have no work today so I don't really quite know what I am going to do after school and institute; I may pop in my friends institute class and surprise her cause I haven't seen her for a while. If nothing else turns up I may just go and surprise my friend.

So another thing I really like a guy friend of mine but he doesn't like me, and even though I know he doesn't like me, I still like him more than a friend and I can't shake this feeling. This has never happened to me before and it is freaking me out a little; and I don't know what to do about it. So that is why I really would like to get away, and go on a vacation again. So that maybe if I can get away from this boy then maybe just maybe I will no longer like him more than a friend. Why do I have to like him so much and why won't it go away. Usually I can tell when a boy doesn't like me, so I stop liking him and then when I find out for sure that he doesn't like me more than a friend I don't get hurt. But now that I am no longer hurt by the fact that he doesn't like me the same way that I like him. For some reason that I can't figure out, I still like him and this feeling is not going away.

I am loving my life, I am so blessed. I know I would be nothing without my Heavenly Father I am so thankful for all that he does and gives me. I am so thankful for my Savior Jesus Christ and that he bled and died for me to take away my sins, I know that he lives. There is a line in one of the hyms that I really love that is how I feel about my Savior, "I marvel that he would descend from his throne divine To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine, That he should extend his great love unto such as I, Sufficient to own, to redeem, and to justify. Oh it is wonderful that he should care for me Enough to die for me! Oh it is wonderful, wonderful to me!" I know the Book of Mormon is true and that it was written for our day. I know that Priesdent Monson is the Prophet of the Church, I am so thankful to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I would be lost if I didn't have the gospel in my life it has brought me so much happiness, even though sometimes life is hard; the Lord has to bring us low before he can lift us higher, and the Lord is not just building the church he is also building us. The lord will also never abandon us, so we should not abandon him. The Lord will also aid, strengthen us, help us, and cause us to stand. And I am truely blessed to have family and friends that love and support me!

Content!!

Friday I didn't go to a friends house instead I went to work and then the gym! I am happy that I did because when I got home I found out that I had lost another pound! So now all together I have lost 12lbs I am so stoked!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then Saturday I watched General Conference both sessions which was very excellent. Then I went with my mom, aunt and my two sisters and we got pedicures and then went out to eat. That was a lot of fun mostly because I got to see my little sister. It was so good to see her; cause I don't see her that much anymore since she got married. I honestly love my little sister! I would do anything for her....well within reason of course!

Also for the past 2 nights I have been staying up until like 2am chatting with my friend Angela (that lives in Texas) on facebook! It has been nice being able to catch up on a lot of things with her! I miss her, I wish she was still here in Utah, and still in my ward! She may also come visit this summer; which is another thing that I am stoked about!!! I may also go see her this summer if everything works out! If not there is always next year!

So today I got to watch both sessions which was very nice; and over all General Conference was wonderful, amazing and now my cup is overflowing!! I took the time to write down a couple of my favorite quotes from Conference......"Choose to live by faith, not fear!" and "You can't be a life saver if you look like everyone else on the beach." Ya Conference was awesome, I really enjoyed every bit of it!! Then I went to work and it wasn't too bad it was actually nice because we got to work with another person so things didn't get too boring. I am just happy that I didn't have to work during conference! Also one of the great things about working while it's Conference is that there is always food that they let us eat!

So the other day I was telling a good friend of mine that I feel I am content and a lot more confident now than I ever have been, even though it's kind of weirding me out a little; and I am way different now, I guess it's because I am not used to the new me yet. So maybe it's also because of me finally losing weight and because I like everyone in my ward, and I feel like I could just go up to anyone in my ward and strike up a conversation without them looking at me like I am weird or that I shouldn't be talking to them; and then she said to me "You are starting to realize how absolutely amazing you are, and how you have nothing to worry about. Everyone likes you and gets along with you so well!! I'm glad that you are able to carry that now." Then I said to her "yes I have come to that realizion! I am content with who I am now!" Wow can I just say that I have one really absolutely amazing true friend; I can't believe that she said that about me.

So that brings me to my next topic, friends. A few of my friends have still been on my mind a lot, first one that comes to mind is one I haven't seen or heard from in quite a while, but yesterday we did chat a little on facebook. So now I am not so concerned about her. The next one I haven't heard or seen her for about a month almost, but tonight she finally sent me a text, so thank goodness I was starting to wonder if something had happened to her, cause it's not like her to not answer my calls or texts. Another friend is still going through a hard time, I have been trying to help cause I know that life is hard; we have to go through hard things in order to become strong and to be able to stand tall; because that is how we learn and grow and then we are better prepared for eternal life.

Work is not fun!

Monday was alright I wasn't as sad as I was on Sunday, I went to work which was no fun again. Then after work I went and just chilled and watched while some of my friends bowled, only 4 of us went to Dees, and it was nice with a small group. Tuesday went to school and institute. I am not looking forward to going to class tomorrow I would like to sleep in and just go to my institute class, and also not go to work for the rest of this week as well!

Well today I got to sleep in which was nice, then since my parents were coming back; from out of town, my aunt came up stairs to ask me if I was going to leave a note for my mom (cause on Saturday I broke my moms stone pan) like I am that stupid and irresponsible, that I wouldn't tell my mom about what I had done; that was my plan all along if they came home after I left for work then I was going to leave a note; but if they came back before I went to work then I was just going to tell my mom about it! But oh well I guess she didn't mean any harm by it, but sometimes I wonder why she has to treat me like am a kid; when I am perfectly able to take care of things on my own.

Well I wish it was Friday I may go over to a friends house after work, and hopefully tonight I can get enough sleep so I can go to the gym on Thursday after work. I really hope it doesn't snow anymore in the valley; it can snow all it wants in the mountains, because that is where we need it. I am sick of the snow I wish we could have some nice weather for a change, rather it being cold and snowy. This weekend should be good though since it's conference I get to watch both sessions on Saturday then go out with my mom, aunt and both of my sisters for girls night out while the boys go to priesthood meeting. Then sunday I get to watch both sessions again then I have to go to work. Also I have lost 11lbs now I am so happy!!!!!!!!!!!

Lake Powell Pic!

All of the girls set up the tents with no boys!!

Lake Powell Pic!

So here is the sunset over Lake Powell!